Beware the Baby Blues

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Beware the Baby Blues

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The way you love your baby will be the way your baby loves others. You will give them the pattern for loving relationships to use for the rest of their life. Babies thrive when they are safe and secure. If you are depressed or suffering with low mood this will affect not only you, but also your relationship with your baby.

In those first few weeks of your baby’s life, they are coping with being separate from mum. A rapid loving response is needed. If baby is left crying too long, she/he will become anxious and insecure. After these first few weeks, mum will be exhausted and naturally slower to respond. This gradual change leads to baby learning tolerance and reducing that piercing, desperate cry.

This is all very demanding on mum, particularly if there are other children who will wonder when it’s their turn for attention. Being as prepared as you can, and accepting support from family and friends will help you survive the demands of your newborn.

For some mums, the worry of pregnancy, a difficult birth, coping with lots of issues at once, can make adjustment to motherhood challenging. It is not uncommon to get post-natal depression during pregnancy or up to a year after the baby is born. Some figures suggest that as many as five mothers out of every ten suffer low mood from as early as the fourth day. These “baby blues” are nobody’s fault and can happen to anyone. Dads can also get depression, with symptoms occurring four to six weeks after the birth of the baby.

Sometimes we all have feelings of being down. Signs of post-natal depression are when these feeling of being down, depressed or hopeless last for a month or more, coupled with little interest or pleasure in doing things.

You can try to tackle this on your own or get help. Tell the health professionals looking after you, your midwife, health visitor or GP. Find out what is available. We all need help sometimes, and as a coach and counsellor, Anita Grabarz helps Mums and Dads overcome negative feelings, reduce their anxiety and start coping again. There are different types of treatment, depending on the severity and issues involved. When coping strategies are needed Anita will use CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy). If there are long standing issues, Anita works psychodynamically, looking for past patterns, particularly in childhood, for any unresolved issues. For trauma or bereavement the approach will be different again.

Take the opportunity to understand what is going on in your life. Anita will encourage you to be honest and open. This is all part of helping you to understand yourself more and why you do the things you do. The more you know about yourself, the more options you have about what you want to accept or what you want to change. The better you feel, the more emotionally available you will be for your baby. Find out more about the coaching and counselling that Anita offers at www.anitagrabarz.com.