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Mums Tip of the Week


Why not visit our Parenting Tips pages for lots more great parenting information.  

Small Steps have teamed up with Baby Wisdom and together each week we will be bringing you a brand new Mum’s Tip of the Week. 

Our friendly, research-based tips will cover everything to do with having a new baby: from preparing for birth and breastfeeding to travelling abroad and introducing your baby to solids. 

We’re not saying it’s going to be easy, we’re saying it’s going to be worth it.


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Don’t throw away your boob tube yet! 

How about a boob tube or a cheap vest with the straps cut off, worn to give privacy to an expanding or post baby belly? Pregnant mums: this will extend the life of your wardrobe and you can colour code these to match your outfit.


Great news you have no boss! You are the boss!!!

The upside of being a parent is that there are no bitchy colleagues; you can wear what you like, go out for a walk whenever you want and take tea breaks all day! Sounds like the best job in the world. The downsides are your baby having a growth spurt day and getting out of the house can be an impossible task, but hey there is always tomorrow and no meetings scheduled!! 'Love what you do!'


Worrying about not having enough breast milk?
 
We heard a top tip passed mum to mum this week! It’s so lovely to hear mums supporting each other. Breast milk is made constantly from your blood as your baby sucks - clever stuff!! So the pumps don't empty and then have to wait to refill. This might help build your confidence if you are worrying that your milk might run out.

Womb to world; what a journey!
 
Remember, your little bundle has taken the same journey (long or short) as mum. Babies often take a few days to become more alert and aware of their surroundings. This behaviour often coincides with coming home.

Concerned about socialising with friends or family who have coughs and colds?

Hand washing is your greatest first line of protection in preventing the sharing of diseases, even the common cold! Remember 'Catch it, Bin it, Kill it!'


Finding the whole 'introducing solids' project confusing?

The three true signs for starting are:
  • Your baby can stay in a sitting position and hold their head steady
  • Your baby can co-ordinate their eyes, hand & mouth and look at food, grab it and put it in their mouth all by themselves and
  • Your baby can swallow food.

Babies who are not ready will push their food back out, so they get more round their face than they do in their mouth.


Are you finding yourselves arguing about who is working hardest?

Take a moment to remember what you loved about each other in the early days of dating. Call a truce and make a date to spend time together - just the two of you!


Calling all sleep deprived mums and dads!

Things always seem worse in the middle of the night. Avoid discussions in the 'Twilights Zone'. Always forgive each other in the morning and save forward planning for a mellow hour of the day.


Moving swiftly on ....... the bit that no one tells you about
 
Sore front bottoms go with the territory. Mum can find this area a bit bruised, tender and experience a dragging sensation. If you are doing too much and trying to be super mum, your front bottom will let you know. Rest!! Having a warm bath will help with the healing.

What are your hopes and fears for your baby’s birth and the early days?

Chat about what may stress you both out. Identify what your pet hates are within your domestic roles – cleaning the shower, ironing, for example? How will you adapt and cope? Who can you enlist to help and support you and be the cavalry?


Wondering what sling to choose?

The long wrap & wear variety is a multi use item that can double up as a blanket, sunshade or pillow for feeding. Why not check out a UK Sling Library near you, where you can try and hire.

Who is on the sleep deprivation bus?

Try to sleep when your baby sleeps; even if you just close your eyes and spend five minutes breathing deeply. Get outside for at least half an hour in the fresh air or spend five minutes looking for the positive aspects of your life (there are some hidden there).

Walking the thin blue line

Just found out your pregnant and feeling a little wobbly. Even if this is what you've really wanted, it's perfectly normal to feel that you want to change your mind and jump off the bus. Hang on in there; you have nine months to adjust.

What is baby led weaning all about?

Letting your baby feed themself from the off! A bit nervous? Babies have been doing this since the beginning of time. The gag reflex is nature’s safety measure to prevent choking. Developmentally this reflex gradually moves backwards to enable the baby to accept lumpier foods at around six months.

Feel like 'a part of me has gone missing'?

A really familiar statement from mums. The baby's needs are all consuming and it often feels like there is no time for you. It is really hard, we know, but we need to accept that this is the baby's time and will probably last for three months or so. When the missing part re-emerges (and it will!), we are often stronger and have a new perspective on the world.


We don't want to change what we do just because we have had a baby

Anyone uttered that line? It can be frustrating when your little bundle doesn't agree with that notion. Try to seek out achievable things you used to do together and let some things go. A good walk with baby in the sling might make you feel more mobile and a lunch meal out might be easier than an evening dinner.


Why Breastfeed?

Did you know breastfeeding helps reduce the risk of breast and ovarian cancer, and helps you burn off the weight you have gathered whilst pregnant. Give it a go, even a couple of days will be a great start for you and your baby too!


Got this parenting lark cracked?

Just when you feel you've got some kind of pattern or order, our little ones have a growth spurt or another developmental leap. Parenting is a job where no two days are the same. The trying days will be as short lived as the best days and at most will last on average about 48 hours.


Skin to skin, heart to heart, love to love you!

Help your baby make the adjustment to its arrival by offering 'skin to skin' in the arms of the people it has been waiting to meet. Baby's skin on mum’s or dad’s skin keeps baby warm, helps their breathing, calms, soothes and regulates their heart rate and nervous system.


Calling all dads! Wondering how you can help if your little bundle is going to be breast fed?

It is proven that mums, whose partners are supportive, whilst they are breastfeeding, are more likely to feed for the timespan that they had hoped. Be that three days, six months, a year or beyond. A big hug in the middle of the night and letting her know she is doing a fantastic job really can make all the difference!!

What about me?

After birth the focus often shifts to ‘all about baby’. In many other countries, where they often don’t even have a word for ‘postnatal depression’, mothers are protected and nurtured and all they need worry about is caring for their baby. Prepare your Support Network before baby arrives to support you in your new role as MUM.

Express yourself. Thinking of expressing?

Expressing is a skill you will need to work at, just like learning to breastfeed. Give yourself plenty of time to practice if you wish to store milk for a specific event or evening out. You may not pump lots (tiny tums need tiny amounts) as your baby is the most efficient at taking milk from the breast. Find a quiet slot when you can to give yourself a bit of time to practice or alternatively you could collect any milk that drips from your other breast whilst feeding baby. 


Ouch engorged!

In the early days your breasts sometimes over produce milk as they are not sure how much milk your baby will want to take. Engorgement happens when your breasts feel very full (look but don’t touch). To help make breastfeeding more comfy, gently hand express a bit of milk off before you attach your baby, making it more comfy for you and easier for them to attach.


Need some positive birth mantras to help you through your contractions/surges

  • My body is strong and beautiful.
  • Each day brings me closer to meeting my baby.
  • My body knows just what to do.
  • My baby and I are working in perfect harmony.
  • As my birthing progresses, my relaxation deepens.

Bagging up for birth

Ideally, pack together or take a bit of time to familiarise yourselves with the contents of the bags you have packed ready for the birth. Even if you are planning a home birth you will need to have these ready, in case things take a different route. 

  • What will go into hospital when you arrive?
  • What can stay in the car until the baby has arrived?
  • What is staying at home and can be brought in the next day?

You may be as cool as a cucumber but this new adventure may make you flap and, more importantly, you don’t want to make a labouring mum anxious about her luggage!

Need a spare mum?

Do you and your partner feel like you may need extra support at the birth? A ‘Doula’ might just be the ticket for your circumstances.  What is it? A Doula is a trained companion who has usually had children herself and is often referred to as someone who ‘mothers the mother’ (and partner).


Early days, your milk has come in and you and your little bundle are learning the dance of feeding.

Babies also need to learn how to breastfeed and mums are also learning a new skill. Remember how long it took you to learn to ride a bike, drive a car! If the going gets tough, seek help and support.


Enjoy every pooey nappy and boy will there be lots of them!

Nappies are the secret to how your baby is feeding. Look out for lots of wet nappies in the early days and the poo changing from that lovely black tar colour to bright mustardy yellow. This will tell you that there is definitely some going in and some is coming out!


Calling all mums who have heard of the Perineal Massage and finding this a scary prospect


This may make a difference; give it a whirl. Perineal Massage can reduce and possibly prevent tearing of the perineum (the bit between your front and back bottom OUCH!). If you can reach, give it a go or phone a friend.


Gentle exercise is a good way of making sure you are physically and emotionally prepared for your baby’s birth.

General gentle exercise, such as yoga and Pilates are ideal. Swimming is also an excellent exercise to take up when you are pregnant as the water will support your increased weight. Some local swimming pools provide aqua-natal classes with qualified instructors.

SOS

Asking for help is sometimes really hard. But struggling on stressed doesn’t make for happy parents. Be brave, even an hour on your own or someone sitting with you listening really can make the difference.


On the go with your sling

When baby wearing on the move, think about your own comfort and what you are wearing.  You might want to consider easy clothing in case you need to take a toilet break. Leggings or a skirt might make your pit stop a bit easier, with no belts or buttons to worry about.


Revving up to slow it down

Stopping breastfeeding can be as emotional as the early days. Making the decision to stop can be difficult. Chat to those you trust have your interests at heart. You probably know what you want and just need to bounce the idea around for a bit. Take it slow, cutting down on feeds gently and keeping your breasts soft to avoid any discomfort. 

Go for gold in the pants department!

“Team GB”… for new mums means “Great (front) Bottom”. After having a baby your pelvic floor can be weakened and reminding yourself to do a few exercises is often the last thing on your mind.  Imagine yourself winning gold and standing on the podium and each time you hear the word Olympics, take a moment to do a few exercises.


Woolly socks at the ready!!

Keeping warm after baby is born helps the love hormone, Oxytocin, to peak and mums milk to flow. Pack woolly socks and a warm blanket to keep mum warm and feel safe & secure.

The ‘what ifs’

Before the big day, take time to chat about what your plans will be if your birth takes a different route from the one you envisaged.

  • What if the baby is born by caesarean section?
  • What if you need someone to care for an older child?
  • What if your work might impact on your time with mum and baby?
  • How will you both manage this?

Perfect parents?

You don’t have to be Super Mum. In your baby’s eyes you are a Super Mum. Be kind to yourself, slow things down and let stuff wait. You are doing a fantastic job!

Sweaty Betty?

Cooling ideas - wet a muslin in cold water and apply to your wrists for instant cooling or use your muslin as a sunshade for your pram. If blessed with very hot weather, wet your muslin sunshade and the air will cool down over your little one.

What, you are still feeding?

YES! Fantastic, well done! If friends and family start to make comments about your continued breastfeeding and it makes you feel uncomfortable, rise above it! Remember, the national guidance is to feed your baby to six months but the World Health Organisation suggests two years. Like all parenting, we all do it differently. Why not take a trip to a local Breastfeeding Support Group where you are likely to find like minded mums.

Listen very carefully to your woman

Women need to be instinctual during labour. Talking too much might inhibit her and stall the birth. Support her to slow down; she knows her body better than anyone. Be her advocate so she can focus on giving birth with minimal disturbance.

The big push

When mum is fully dilated and just before the pushing begins, mums often express that they have changed their minds and don't want a baby after all, or just can't go on. Great news, the baby is about to make an appearance and let her know that, this is the moment you have all been waiting for and she can do it!

Whilst you are waiting

Boring but very important: practising your pelvic floor exercises! A toned pelvic floor will help your baby be born more easily and will also prevent you being incontinent and leaking urine after you’ve had your baby.

First trip to the swimming pool

Babies lose heat more quickly than adults. Keep them moving and don’t stay in the pool too long to start with. Baby skin is more delicate than that of grown ups. Look out for any adverse reactions to the pool chemicals. Bring your baby into the water by holding them close. Once they know you will protect them in the water, they will feel more at ease.

Travelling abroad with a small baby and feeling daunted?
 
In reality it is often one of the easiest flights you will take with them.  Babies eat and sleep as opposed to toddlers who like to explore the plane for the entire flight!

Baby calling - don't be afraid to pick up

Baby’s cries are a means of giving us a message. This is their call and response system; it’s the only one they have. Answering their call swiftly is OK; you are attending to your little ones’ needs. You can't spoil a little baby, you are letting them know they are loved and this enables them to feel secure.

Something for the weekend! 

Ships that pass in the night? Try and find an opportunity to chat with each other during the day. Just five minutes about your little one or five minutes about how you each are feeling. Or how about one positive statement about how proud you are of your partner as a parent.

Bonding with your little one

Mums and dads often feel that this is an instantaneous process. Bonding and getting to know your little one usually takes time and happens over days and even weeks.  Take your time and get to know one another, just gazing and stroking your little one. Try a little gentle massage of your baby’s legs and feet after a nappy change.

Having twins (or more!) and wondering if breastfeeding will be possible?

Whilst pregnant check out your local Support Group and chat to the other mums who attend.  Build your own support network now; like the boy scouts - be prepared (as much as possible!).  Breastfeeding is possible and many say it is so much easier once you get going.  The secret is to ask for help and to remember each of your babies is an individual. Take each day as it comes and even if you only feed for a short while, it’s a great start for your little team!

Niggling about nonsense?

Do you find you and your partner are moaning at each other about silly little things? Chances are tiredness is making everything a little tense around the edges. Stop, take a deep breath and in a calm moment, share how you are both feeling. Arguing about how we both do things differently might just turn out to be you both looking for reassurance! A big hug could work a bit of magic too.


Dads you can do it!

Mums - don't mistake dad's reluctance for lack of interest. It can sometimes be hard for them, when you are such a tough act to follow! Why not make an excuse to leave the room, put the washing out or take a bath and leave them to it; whether it is whilst they feed the baby, change a nappy or master the frustrating art of poppering up a Baby Gro!


Go Slow!

The current guidance says that your baby should be eating three meals a day by approximately ten months. In the beginning don't be frightened to skip a few days if your little one is not ready. Don't fret, it’s not a race.


To breastfeed or not to breastfeed?

We would be telling fibs if we said it was easy-peasy . Breastfeeding takes a while to master; like riding a bike or learning to swim.  But the positives are: no heating milk up and it’s instant. This means a lot in the middle of the night! What’s the secret to success? ASK FOR HELP!

What are you trying to tell me??

Hunger cues. In the early days, it’s often hard to distinguish what your baby is trying to tell you. The following are a few of the signs – rooting, head turning, sucking sounds, chewing on hand, a bit cranky. The last stop is crying! Feeding your baby when you notice the signs above, before the crying stage, is easier all round. A more relaxed baby equals a more relaxed mum and gives you both a gentle start to each feed as you learn together.


The golden hour!

In the unique time following your baby's birth if possible, keep the lights low, keep it calm and warm and greet your baby. 'Skin to skin’ with mum or dad’s bare chest against your baby's bare chest and allow your baby to make eye contact for the first time.  This will optimise the third stage, arrival of the placenta. Baby at the breast will also help this process.